The ‘Wolverhampton Wedding Fight’ went viral this weekend and the subsequent ‘made up’ version of events of literally broke the internet. Thing is, the incident at the weekend is not a new thing. The only thing new about it was – It was caught on camera. Those who went to Indian weddings in the last two decades can certainly recall at least one wedding where the reception went pear-shaped.
Like everything else that happens, be it a new fad or a trend among Asians, we will milk this until the last drop. So here is our guide to the tension building day that leads to regretful things happening at an Indian weddings reception. It may well be an industry worth millions, but just remember – tread carefully!
The Milni: This is where the tension starts. First and foremost you always have that one relative giving the evil eye as garlands are passed around. Yet, he who has done so much is overlooked yet again. This is the guy to keep an eye on for the rest of the day. His testosterone is building. Another thing that builds tension is the Milni Lift if done wrong trousers are ripped and backs are strained. One Gurdwara from Nottingham has now outlawed this practice on health and safety grounds! It might seem funny, but it will be remembered as the day goes on!
The Anand Karaj is usually the safest and most peaceful event of the wedding. We do have exceptions though. The video below highlights why you should not marry family. Especially if you try and keep it quite! The things apne do for a passport !!
Also, you may have dieted to get into your wedding outfit! But the naala is unforgiving! Tie it right and tie it strong
After the building fund speech, very few stay for the langer at the Gurdwara, instead, it is a mad dash to the reception to grab some food. This video below highlights what happens when the Pakode either don’t hit the mark or run out.
Talking about food! If the caterer gets it wrong then, it doesn’t matter if it is a posh hotel or a tent, the it is going off!
If you are planning a first dance. At least get your partner to agree to it! This woman either did not like the song choice or just thought her future husband was a knob! We think it was the latter.
Oh the life of a DJ! One more they shout, one more! Drunk and rowdy and just wanting to dance! You know what’s coming next!
Sometimes you hear rumours of it going off backstage! Well, these dancers fuelled the rumours by kicking off with each other? Still to this day. no-one knows why? Yet the rumour is Kala’s wife found out about him trying to chat the dancers up!
Men can take ages leaving a wedding reception. The long-winded goodbyes to the pindu who they won’t see until next wedding season. The hugs and kisses, but once outside it can go very very wrong. Especially if zameen back in the pind is mentioned.
So the Indian weddings reception is done, no fights, even the milni passed off without issues. So going to collect the bride will be a breeze – oh unless her ashiq turns up demanding she go with her.