Introducing – The Zodi-Haq Wala Baba – Desi Horoscopes – What Kind of Sessioner Are You?


The Zodi-Haq Wala Baba – No Paisa Just Charawa

My name, that is not important, my reason for joining Daily ent. xpress? So that I can share with you my knowledge of the Zodiac system desi style, fcuk mystic meg. Am I a baba? Depends how much you are paying, I can be hired as a friend too (email mar deh, full prices, escort wang).

Every week/month I will issue desi horoscopes for my Janta, if you believe them, good luck, but understand, I only share what the stars tells me. The Zodi-Haq Wala Baba is a messenger, my just giving page will be up soon, messages are not free, and I want a holiday.

Four signs are key, here is what they mean to desi mans and women (session being a night out, not just alcohol and them tings, this baba is baba of all)

Water – Take advantage of this Janta, they listen and care, but don’t go to far, they can go loopy though, pagal types.
Session Types: They will listen and listen, then ply you with food and drink, so you have to stay, if going for a night out with these, get away quick, otherwise you will have a dukhi night.

Fire – Like to talk, no fook without fire they say, and this janta can talk and talk, but not good at finishing anything off.
Session Types: Ear plugs, this janta love themselves and will talk and talk, love to show off, until it comes to splitting the bill.

Air –  Private Janta, like to get angry when no reason to, lot of pamp, let them be alone.
Session Types: Good people, always turn up, attendance full, but when they say they want to go, let them, otherwise they will break your sh*t.

Earth –  Straight talking Janta, siddi gal wale, If they want a pint they want a pint, if they want a fight they want a fight, Good Janta.
Session Types: Straight talking, if it is their round it is their round, no pamp, but can be very angry too, tread careful this janta is a brawling type.

Aries (March 21-April 19) Fire

Good:Hard working bandeh, everything Aries do, they do with full masti, partying or working.

Bad: Me, me me Janta that is Aries, selfishness and stubborn.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) Earth

Good:Kam ghar ke jahna, always finish what they start, normally a happy janta.

Bad:My way or the highway, this janta want to be seen as the leaders, meh meh meh when it comes to leading.

Gemini (May 21-June 20) Air

Good:Muh bandh gar, this collective of vehli’s are always talking, talking about them mainly, always good for the session, if they are leading.

Bad:Like to do the bullshit, very long stories, not that good in relationships or jobs, commitment da issue.

Cancer (June 21-July 22) Water

Good: Strange janta, they will listen to problems, and try to help others, a friend from this gang is a friend for life.

Bad:Picha nah chad deh, this janta be calling you 24/7, good listeners but very clingy, saleh tell everyone their issues.

Leo (July 23-August 22) Fire

Good:Dilo Saaf, honest Janta with expensive tastes, luxury wala lifestyle de fan ah, family is everything.

Bad:Sometimes people be like “bas khar” they get to jamal, they are too nice and for that reason they forget their place.

Virgo (August 23-September 22) Earth

Good:Asli janta, dilo saaf and never mar de pamp, very quiet and dedicated, nice ah.

Bad:If thwadi standards are not up to theirs then a Virgo will ask why, saleh can start to be demanding if your standards are not like theirs.

Libra (September 23-October 22) Air

Good:Take one for the team wale, always team first personal second, energy waleh, fit janta.

Bad:Ehmi gussa waleh, if you do not play fair, they can become very moody, and gussa can last for years.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) Water

Good:Discipline wale, need to be in charge and let bandeh know that they are good people.

Bad:Badla was invented for these people, you have an issue with this janta and they remember for generations, no bounds to what they could do.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) Fire

Good:Spiritual janta, they like to travel and like to learn. Eat, prey love bandeh.

Bad:Saleh attention span shit ah, too busy with the fairies and the big plans, but discipline not good, hardly deliver on-time.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19) Earth

Good: Great Janta, good decision makers, siddi gal types, no sitting on the fence for these. Big Plans, big people.

Bad:Mari gal nah karo about Capricorns, they cannot take criticism, they start thinking the world is against them, samaal keh gal khar with these.

Aquarius (January 20 to February 18) Water

Good: Friendly, has ke bol de ah, always happy, never say no to anyone, but also love their own space.

Bad:Need their space, otherwise janta can go cuckoo, then they go a bit nuts, let them be alone if they wish.

Pisces (February 19 to March 20) Water 

Good:Senti, very senti, Kaler Kanth types, loving caring and imaginative, very innovative secretly.

Bad:Make your mind up, these pindu’s will test you, no direction at times, sit on the fence types holding emotions in. Man Up!


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