Its that time of year again when ilivehere.co.uk present their top 10 of worst places to live in the UK. This year the survey has a new winner, well 1st place.
The Cambridgeshire town of Peterborough has come in bottom? top? of the list this year, after those quizzed in the survey claimed residents of the town were “miserable” and “backwards” – ouch!
Despite the fact that Peterborough is home to Burghley House, a 12-century cathedral and other heritage sites, it didn’t cut the mustard when it came to the public poll.
One of the 50,000 people that cast their vote in the survey even described the town as “the biggest dump in England with aggressive and inbred residents”.
The guide says: “If booking a weekend get-away in Peterborough, it is customary if a stranger holds eye contact with you for more than three seconds, to shout ‘What?’ and become extremely aggressive.”
Another described the people as “without doubt some of the most aggressive, miserable, backwards, negative people I have ever come across”.
One person said: “There’s nothing but pound shops and a few coffee shops. It’s polluted, unclean, full of idiots and a horrible place to live.”
Another local said: “It’s a rough, boring, chavvy, c**p hole.
“For a demonstration of the chav scooterists trying to impress the scummy lady chavs, simply go and look in Morrisons car park from 7pm onwards – thousands of the cretins, unfortunately they never seem to fall off.
“In short if you like your car windows, teeth, kneecaps etc. then avoid this s***e like you would a man with leprosy! You have been warned.”
One person said: “Take in the smells – the strong whiff of tobacco and fatty foods with subtle hints of exhaust fumes, sweat and damp vegetables from the market area – and see if you can detect a undertone of vomit, Karate aftershave and old cheese.”
And another said: “Welcome to the cesspit of the universe, where evolution took a break and spat out this breed of useless slack-jawed yokels with less IQ than a glass of water.”
A respondent wrote: “You’ve probably been forced to pass here on the train at some time in your life and seen all the attractions such as smack and rat-infested flats.”
“Ah Doncaster, that s**t-hole surrounded by other s**t-holes like Hull, Barnsley, Pontefract, Scunthorpe and Rotherham.
“A night out in Donny is magical, with bums sitting on steps drinking White Lightning near the old strip club or the Jobcentre, and chavvettes with near nothing on, looking to volunteer to contribute to Doncaster’s rising pregnancy rate.”
Hull has made the top 10 every year since 2005 and is three-times overall winner – so this is possibly an improvement.
One critic said:” I was born and bred in Hull and can honestly say it’s a dump. Just spend ten minutes outside the Maternity Unit at Hull Royal Infirmary.”
Rotherham is described as “a worthy nomination” by one disappointed critic: “I think I’ll head off somewhere else and get away from it all. I put as much distance between me and the population as possible after that first visit.
“I stopped going into the town centre – there was just no point because I like a pint without violence.
“After a year of reading headlines in the Rotherham Advertiser like ‘Chip Pan Fire Guts House’, ‘Body found outside Takeaway’ and ‘Asbo Grandad at it again’ I decided I didn’t fit in and moved away.”
One respondent said: “Just walking around the town centre and seeing the result of years of inbreeding is an ordeal – we try to avoid the place unless absolutely necessary. The best thing about Blackpool is the M55 out.
“While in Blackpool all you smell is weed, McDonald’s, KFC – you may think it’s a jolly seaside resort with candy floss and donkeys but it’s a scum-bucket for the transients who come here to draw benefits in a holiday resort instead of in an inner-city.”
One local reported: “Highly scientific research – walking down the high street – revealed that one in three inhabitants under the age of 30 fits neatly into the chav box.
“In a town where everybody is a blood relative of the person next to them, you have to wonder whether the chavdom stems from bad breeding, or in the case of Castleford, possible interbreeding.”
“A trip to Castleford is a real eye opener- and you need to keep your eyes open because if you dare to close them, they’d have your wallet faster than you could say ‘XR3i.’
“If someone wanted to give Yorkshire an enema, this is where they’d stick the tube.”
Don’t bother shopping in Oldham, according to the guide
The guide claims: “This Greater Manchester town conjures up images of shaven-headed gentlemen discussing the political issues of the day in a flat roof pub like the one in the TV show ‘Shameless’ and the reality is only slightly different.
“The people of Oldham look as though the government has been performing nuclear testing in the area.”
“If you want culture and sophistication, then look no further than Yorkshire Street and the local shopping centres, where Sports Direct is the new Hugo Boss and TJ Hughes is the new Harrods.”
One said: “The estates make Syria look calm. You can guarantee that if you dare to walk down these down-trodden dogs**t ridden estates – and mind the needles- you will spot the inhabitants walking freely in dressing gowns, fluffy slippers and in the case of women, undoubtedly pregnant, with a fag in their gob going to pick up another free prescription from the clap clinic.”
And: “Drug dealers, dole wasters, bums, guttersnipes, fallen women, young slappers and their steroid-pumped teenage boyfriends. It’s a nightmare – a cross between ‘Shameless’ and the ‘Star Wars’ canteen.”