So the word on the street is that, Dave’s dad’s friends mom. who follows Steve’s aunt on twitter, saw a tweet from Pete’s uncle, who was informed by a man who collects fag butts from outside (Enter Your Football teams stadium here) that (Enter Player Name) is joining your club!
Sounds bollocks, but when the transfer window is open, why the hell do we give so much credibility to such rumours, let us tell you why, it is because we have no football in our lives to fill the void! The rumour mill is our only place to vent, be creative and above all pretend we know man’s. People go from being your normal football fan, to ITK’s fountain’s of knowledge acquired via social media and fueled via drunken conversations down The Drunken Dunk.
Well us being us, and also following a drunken conversation down the Drunken Duck we have decided to start following up on some of those transfer stories that appear out of the blue and then seem to be hidden away, its time for The Rumour Mill v The Bullshit Factor, to aide us in our journey we have asked Agent Taggar (closest we could get to ITV’s Taggert) to help provide knowledge and wisdom to disphiere fact from the fiction.
So when such a transfer story breaks via betting sites and newspaper experts, we will ask Agent Taggar and the squad here at Daily Ent Xpress to score it on the Bullshit factor, so why not start today, by all means send us any dodgy transfer news that sounds like it was conceived after a heavy drinking session between lads on a plane to Benidorm, the wilder the better, but also send us the source and not just what you heard lol.
Daily Star: Manchester City are planning a £100m deal for Chelsea’s Eden Hazard after manager Pep Guardiola made the 27-year-old Belgium forward his top transfer target.
Bullshit Factor – 90%
Probability – Hazard leaving Chelsea, yes very likely, joining another English club? Can not see this happening
Agent Taggar – Cannot see this happening at all! Do think 100m is cheap for him in this market. Will he leave Chelsea? Yes! However he will not join a smaller club!!!!!!!!!
The Mirror: Napoli manager Maurizio Sarri, to join Chelsea?
Bullshit Factor – 40%
Probability – Conte to leave Chelsea, yes, Sarri talks to have broken down, a mere 12 hours after the end of the season, nah mate, the source who likes to remain secret should not be trusted
Agent Taggar – Think it is obvious that Conte will be leaving Chelsea. Whoever comes in can expect to do 12-24 months in the role. Not many big chances will come for Sarri to manage a top 6 team in the Premier League. I can see this happening, has a great chance.
Talksport: Jamie Vardy to Join Atlético Madrid’? Costa and Vardy – Sexy as hell
Bullshit Factor – 40%
Probability – Madrid are set to lose Antoine Griezmann, so they will be looking for replacements, and will have the cash to lure the foxes target man away.
Agent Taggar -Wouldn’t be surprised as Simeone is a fan of Vardy. Just think Atlético Madrid’s net can catch bigger fish, if Madrid want him they will get him.
Various: Alan Brazil’s dietary friend Bellerin to Juventus – £50m
Bullshit Factor – 70%
Probability – Bellerin wanting to move away is not a surprise, but we feel his love for London may mean he wishes to remain in London, do not be surprised if he stays, he loves Thursday night football
Agent Taggar – £50m for Bellerin, you having a laugh! I can see him moving on, but to Juve who are known to have had solid defences over the years. Bellerin doesn’t come with good defender on his CV.
Mirror: £60m For Zaha To Leave Croydon for Everton?
Bullshit Factor – 50%
Probability – Will Zaha want to move North? Think he has a love in with Hodgson that may prove to strong, we think he is a stayer, unless £60m is for real, £60 bloody million
Agent Taggar – Zaha no doubt has talent however, after Everton splashed the cash last season and ended up in big trouble in the league. Unfortunately the rest of the budget was spent on feeding Big Sam. Cannot see Everton making that mistake again and risk spending over £50 million on another player.