What Traits Do Men & Women Want From Romantic Partner?


When it comes to what men and women want in a romantic partner, they’re stereotyped as wanting drastically different things. However, research suggests that they actually have a lot in common, according to a survey carried out buy Lehmiller.com

Consider this online survey that included a sample of 102,961 heterosexual men, 5,938 gay men, 82,819 heterosexual women, and 2,548 lesbian women [1]. Participants came from 53 different countries, but most were from the United Kingdom or the United States.

As part of this survey, participants were given a list of 23 different traits and they were asked to select the top three traits that were most important in a potential romantic partner. Researchers then rank ordered the traits based upon how many participants put each trait in their top three. The top 10 traits for men and women are listed in the table below, collapsing across sexual orientation.

As you can see, 9 out of the top 10 traits were the same for men and women. The only exception was that partner age made it onto the men’s list, whereas ambition made it onto the women’s list. Furthermore, 3 out of the top 4 traits were the same across the sexes: both men and women said they want a partner who is intelligent, funny, and honest.


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